Myself
Sorry I havent been here in a bit, I got so caught up in xmas that I just forgot to enter anything here.
As my mission for self improvement and discovery continues, my life seems to continue on the same path it was on when I first started this whole mess.
Thats not to say that nothings been going on. After years of empty promises dad has finally started remodeling the house.
But as anticipated, I'm the one doing all the work. My fingers are all actually bleeding from it and I'm losing my art room.
He's gonna convert it into an office. -sigh-
For someone who loves to be alone all day I sure am becoming lonely.
I don;t really feel like I can rely on anyone I know for comfort with my issues either.
Mostly because I don't know anyone I can be myself around anymore not for quite a few years really but there was always that temporary friend who seemed to pop up out of no where, make my year, then leave.
I scare myself with my eating. I've been dieting for so long now that I'm terrified to stop because if I do I could gain it all back...I don't EVER want to feel that way I did back then...so I keep going.
To compensate for my constant empty heartedness I work.
No not at a job, I don't like people remember? (and yet i'm lonely...huh)
No I do various tasks from sun up to sun down and wake up the next morning in complete muscle agony, so I pop a few tylenol maybe an asperin or two and do it to myself all over again.
I've descided on education goals though. Yay? Its not something I want to do.
I do it because I have no other options, I'm caged theres no where else to go.
My constant day dreaming of something better has become complete torchure.
-sigh- and to top it all off the Wii I was SUPPOSED to get for xmas....was stolen by one of the future shop employees at one of the shipping bays it stopped at from wherever the hell we ordered it from. It was paid for and everything...so we bought some jackass a 200 dollar game machine....-.- and i'm stuck with a harry potter game I can't use without a system.
As my mission for self improvement and discovery continues, my life seems to continue on the same path it was on when I first started this whole mess.
Thats not to say that nothings been going on. After years of empty promises dad has finally started remodeling the house.
But as anticipated, I'm the one doing all the work. My fingers are all actually bleeding from it and I'm losing my art room.
He's gonna convert it into an office. -sigh-
For someone who loves to be alone all day I sure am becoming lonely.
I don;t really feel like I can rely on anyone I know for comfort with my issues either.
Mostly because I don't know anyone I can be myself around anymore not for quite a few years really but there was always that temporary friend who seemed to pop up out of no where, make my year, then leave.
I scare myself with my eating. I've been dieting for so long now that I'm terrified to stop because if I do I could gain it all back...I don't EVER want to feel that way I did back then...so I keep going.
To compensate for my constant empty heartedness I work.
No not at a job, I don't like people remember? (and yet i'm lonely...huh)
No I do various tasks from sun up to sun down and wake up the next morning in complete muscle agony, so I pop a few tylenol maybe an asperin or two and do it to myself all over again.
I've descided on education goals though. Yay? Its not something I want to do.
I do it because I have no other options, I'm caged theres no where else to go.
My constant day dreaming of something better has become complete torchure.
-sigh- and to top it all off the Wii I was SUPPOSED to get for xmas....was stolen by one of the future shop employees at one of the shipping bays it stopped at from wherever the hell we ordered it from. It was paid for and everything...so we bought some jackass a 200 dollar game machine....-.- and i'm stuck with a harry potter game I can't use without a system.
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